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Midwest report
April 11 , 2008

Jeff Crowley

Car Fire

Ron Fulton, former member and sponsor of the great Terminix teams of the 70’s and 80’s always said, “It can always get worse.” I remember bowling a 150 game one night and told Ron, I bowled badly, but at least it can’t get any worse. Ron was right, it got worse. My second game was a 135.

Last Sunday, Ron’s rule hit me over the head! I’m a Circulation Manager at The Gleaner and I had a newspaper carrier dump their route in Marion, KY. That means that I have to train a new carrier. To become familiar with Marion, I drove over there Friday 4/4/08. That is the day western Kentucky received 7 inches of rain. I took HWY 120 out of Providence to Marion, coming and going, and the road was dry.

Sunday morning 4/6/08 at about 2:30AM, as I was driving along on HWY 120 at about 50MPH, I realized I couldn’t see the center line. As I finished that thought, my car was engulfed in water. I managed to keep two of the wheels on the road but the other two were in the grass.

I managed to get my car back on the road and catch my breath. My car was still running and I moved on thinking, “I’m alive and it can’t get any worse that that.” I drove about 200 yards and saw high water signs and a road block. I was wrong, it just got worse. I started to turn around, and my car died in the middle of HWY120. For 30 minutes I tried to start my car, hoping nobody else would come through the water.

I finally started my car, and headed back through the high water to find another route to Marion. By now it was 3:00AM, the time I was to meet my trainee in Marion. I took HWY 109, which was closed for high water, but I watched another car go through, and being the good employee, I followed the other guy. Oddly enough, the right lane was almost completely clear.

I made it to Marion and my trainee was still there. Things seemed to be on an upswing and certainly couldn’t get any worse. As we started delivering the papers, my car stalled every time I let off the gas. After we delivered the paper to 111 Poplar St, my car died and rolled diagonally against the sidewalk. However, it was not a sidewalk, but a sewer where the concrete was broken and a rebar was sticking out. As I started my car and pulled away from the sidewalk, the rebar punctured my rear tire.

Things got worse again, but we were only four blocks away from a convenience store, where my trainee’s van was parked. We walked back to the all night store, I called AAA and my boss, Lori Bush, and explained what had happened. We decided the trainee would deliver the in-town portion and the stores on the route, and we would credit the people in the county.

My trainee drove us back to my car, and we counted out the papers he would need, and left the others in my backseat. I walked back to the store and waited for AAA to call, all the while thinking, “I’ll be on my way home soon and things can’t get any worse.” AAA called and things got worse. It seems that at 5:30AM on Sundays in Marion, KY, AAA does not have anyone to change a tire.

Having never changed a tire before in my life, I got out my owners manual to read about it. An hour and a half later I was able to put on the spare tire. I thought to myself, “This night is over, I’m on my way home, and this time things can’t get any worse."

I noticed my car was not handling well, and got out to check the spare tire. It was on as tightly as I could get it, and proceeded home, but slowly. A service center had put on new brake calipers on my car the previous Monday, and my car was acting like it did prior to that. I thought, “Just take it slowly back to Henderson, drop it off at the service center and call Jane, my wife, to come and get me.”

Somewhere on HWY 60, I noticed smoke coming from the back of my car. I pulled over, but the brakes did not stop me. I coasted to about 10MPH when the car stopped abruptly. I got out and both back tires were smoking. Things had gotten worse, yet again.

At this point not sure where I was or what to do, I called Nancy Vaughn. She lives in Henderson and works with me at The Gleaner. While I was on the phone, a car pulled up and said, “Get away from your car its on fire!” I did not see any fire, but that sounded like a plan. I asked Nancy, “Can you give me a ride home? I’m somewhere on HWY 60, but I don’t know where. You’ll know you’ve found me when you see the smoke.”

Soon my car was soon engulfed in flames. The Whispering Meadows Fire and Rescue unit soon arrived, and what the fire didn’t destroy the water did. I told the State Trooper, “Anytime you’re going to have a car fire, it’s a good idea to have a backseat full of Sunday newspapers to fuel the flames.” I personally closed HWY 60 for what seemed like an hour. If you would like to see pictures of my car fire go to www.wmvfr.com.

The next time you think things can’t get any worse, remember the words of Ron Fulton, “It can always get worse.”

Until next time, may the high scores be yours!

Jeff Crowley covers bowling for the Evansville (IN) Courier Press. He has graciously allowed AlabamaBowling.Com to republish his articles. Jeff can be reached by e-mail at CrowleyJA@thegleaner.com

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